HBIC: Head B in Charge

3 min readAug 9, 2020

Take back control of your life.

Photo by Alvin Balemesa on Unsplash

This week, I publicly declared I don’t want to be the driver of the limo.

Nor do I want to be the one in the back seat of the limo.

Instead, I want to be the one who creates, designs and owns the limousine and its distribution services.

A few years ago, an old bestie of mine introduce the term HBIC: Head B* in Charge. She and her sister had been using the term to describe, non-other than their mother. Having been received into this family like an adopted child since before I lost my own mother, I knew this family quite well. And with that knowledge, the immediate reception to the endearing term confirmed Mama №2 was truly the HBIC of all HBICs. Only a fool would ever mess with Mama.

The rest of this story has nothing to do with Mama №2. Instead, it is about knowing who is the HBIC in a closed environment. In a comedy special called Equanimity and the Bird Revelation, Dave Chappelle cleverly tells the story of Iceberg Slim. I must have watched it 20 times on repeat because he was indirectly telling my story as well as the stories of countless other women who have found themselves in some type of form of Corporate Slavery. The most important line to me encapsulated the entire point of the story: Chappelle quotes a book by saying, “All you have to do is beat that B* with a coat hanger. And then run her a bath. And give her some pills. She’ll be so grateful that you fixed her, that she’ll forget you were [the one] that beat her in the first place.”

Time after time, we, the marginally disenfranchised, submit our application into Corporate Slavery in order to become a participant in the Rat Race. Some have the ability to sip in and slip out by using what they’ve learnt to build their empire. These individuals I’ve seen to be very focussed and very clever. Some have the ability to endure the race for the long haul. These individuals I rarely see to do so willingly; Be that as it may, they may find a just reward. Some have no idea that they have been committed to Corporate Slavery at all. These individuals I believed are fought for by advocates who have prepared to defend vulnerable populations. And then there are those who are fully aware of their pawn status on the board while choosing to stay in the game. This was me until about 5 days ago.

No moral judgement can I pass upon someone who identifies with any condition listed above; with each experience comes an internal evaluation of what action is best in order to stay qualified in the race, which therefore secures one’s bread and butter. And that’s the problem. The enlighten disenfranchised do all that they can to stay qualified in the race knowing that it has an unfixed finish line with ever-changing rules. My hat goes off to those who have crossed the line successfully. My hat goes off to those who show an impressive resilience to the regulations of the competition. My heart goes out to those who were unsuccessful in this game. And to those who chose to redesign the game’s manual, let's knock this crap into yesteryear and claim our seats as the HBIC.

There is a quote attributed to one of the Queen of Hearts, Harriet Tubman. Whether it’s true she said it or not, the meaning is timeless and wildly relevant: “I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”




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